Cold is my most vivid impression of Alaska, and even though I moved to this town two months ago, I still cannot get used to its cold.
There were very few people in this town, and maybe that's one of the reasons why it's even colder. Seattle was much nicer, and I knew it because there were people there with whom I could relax.
Since I’ve been here, even though I was with my mom, she wished more than anyone that I wasn't her daughter. I tried every way I could to please her, but her eyes remained cold as a stranger's, and she thought I was to blame for her terrible life.
I knew from a young age that I was an unwanted existence. No one wanted me. My mother Marilyn told me I shouldn't have been born, but she couldn't afford an abortion. I tried my best to be useful, to get beaten less.
I didn't hate Marilyn. My father abandoned us, and her life had always been miserable. The men she met were all jerks who squeezed her dry of money before leaving her. Only my current stepfather, Jack, stayed.
Because he didn't want to work, he just wanted to drink, and Marilyn enjoyed having a man willing to be with her. She was willing to pay all of Jack's bills, but she hated me. No matter how much I told her Jack was a jerk, she would just yell at me, saying if I continued to disrespect Jack, she would kick me out.
I kept quiet, just praying for the day I turned 18 so I could leave them and live on my own.
"Ella! I don't want to be called to school, so you'd better *** come downstairs!" Mom's angry voice came from downstairs, and I quickly picked a sweater from the closet and slipped on me, which obviously didn't fit my size, it was too big.
It was a style a few years ago. My mom picked it up in the trash and she thought it would suit me。
I had to close my eyes tight and take a deep breath. As I went downstairs, my mother, Marilyn, was waiting in the kitchen.
“Is that what you’re wearing for your first day of school?” Marilyn scoffed, looking me up and down. “Well, not everyone can afford new clothes like you.” I shot back with a sneer.
I want to grab a sandwich from the fridge before school.But Marilyn barged over and slammed the door shut. I couldn't take my little finger back in time and it got red and swollen as the door was jammed shut on it.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing? You know the rules. You want to eat, you buy your own food.” She snapped at me.
“I haven’t been paid yet.” I held back the pain and said as calmly as I could.
“I don’t care. Why don’t you call Celie? I know that she loves to help you out? We haven’t received a check from her since we moved here two months ago. She won't change her promise, right?” Marilyn said with a look of contempt in her eyes as I finally freed my finger from the fridge door.
I took a deep breath. Marilyn was my mom, but she acted like Celie was my mom, and I'd rather Celie was.
“Celie said that it could take a while since we moved. And it’s not like this town gets a whole lot of mail on a regular basis.” I gave up, I fingered the few coins in my pocket, I could find some food outside to eat.
“Don’t be a smart ass to me.” She glared in my eyes. Whew, I had to get out of here. But a body that smelled of alcohol stopped me and he tried to hug me.
“Going to school? Remember to stay away from those stupid high school kids, okay?” Disgusting! I quickly pushed him away, Jack, my stepfather always seized any gap where my mom wasn't around and tried to flirt with me.