Love. I guess that is what you could say I am hoping for. Someone that will love me for everything and then some.
But what I get is rutting. Rutting. That's how I would describe the passion between me and my mate Jacob. As his fingers graze my body rubbing his callus hands across my nipples, I cannot help but moan in excitement.
Mine.
I think as I sink my teeth into his shoulder. I close my eyes as I feel and try to match the rhythm of my mate. In.
I cannot deny that I love him--at least that is what I keep telling myself. Out. He buries himself into me, but I cannot mindlink with him. I tried to touch his mind but he has put up barriers closing his mind from mine.
Out. I feel my throat tighten as I get closer to my release. Out. I can feel that he is as well. In. I can feel as he quickens his pace and buries his head in my shoulder. In.
I cry out his name, hoping that he will meet me there. “Jacob,” but he says nothing. I lift my head staring at the ceiling I feel myself about to reach the end. My wolf Tide, is howling inside of my mind, but I still cannot feel his wolf River.
Nothing. Jacob grunted as he pumped into me a few more times and spread his seed into my womb. Just like that he was satisfied, and I am left feeling empty and missing his touch. We used to cuddle after sex but now he turns over and falls asleep. Or he gets dressed and heads to the pack house for the night.
“I love you,” I say as I adjust myself to relax on his chest. But what I am met with takes me by surprise. Jacob scoffs and rolls his eyes at me. He nudges me away and begins to sit up.
"Maybe we should reconsider our relationship." Jacob tells me. He starts to look around the room for his stuff in the pile of discarded clothes. This is not the first time that he has left after sex, but I understood that my needs come after the packs.
My eyes widened. I cannot believe what I am hearing. “What do you mean, “by reconsidering our relationship. We're fated mates. There's no part of our relationship to consider." I try to keep myself calm but my anger is rising.
“Don't get me wrong Ava, I do love you, but—
“But what,” I said angrily cutting him off.
“But,” Jacob paused. As if he was thinking what would be best to say to me. “But my ex she came back and she gave me a baby. I have a pureblood son.” Jacob said as he pulled his pants over his bare ass.
“So that's it! She leaves you and comes back so now you shut me out. That's not fair Jacob.” I cannot believe what is happening. Jacob and I were freshly mated and married. We had never discussed having children, but his ex has a child and I don't exist.
“ENOUGH!” Jacob turned around. I could see yellow in his pupils. His wolf had taken over and pushed his dominant voice against me.
“No!” I shouted back matching his tone. I jumped out of bed and grabbed the shirt that he was going for. I ignored the smell of him and how satisfying it felt to have his scent on me. I brushed it off; now was not the time.
“We will discuss this, Jacob. Ever since she came back, all you have done is push me away. Unless you want to get your dick wet, that is the only time you treat me like your mate. Like you, wife!”
Jacob clenched and took a deep breath. “You are right. I have reconsidered our relationship, Ava. I have to be sensible about this matter. Alex came back to the pack, and she has brought back my son. A pure blood heir.” He shrugged.
My eyes grew darker as I realized what this meant. It was one thing to know that he had been with her. It was another to hear it come out of your mate's mouth. “So that’s it, you are going to let our marriage, our bond falter because she gave you a son. She left you after finding out we were fated mates. So what are you going to do reject me, Jacob.” I said regretting the words that came out.
"I'm just weighing the options." He opened his eyes and looked up at me. “I have always been a sensible leader. She came back. As Alpha I have to be more realistic about what the pack needs. And the pack needs a pure blood heir.”
“Realistic.” I sneered.
“Yes, realistic. Unlike you, who has all those unrealistic fantasies about being an actor and making art. You still think you're human? Half-breed."
My heart stopped beating. Jacob had always been calculating with his words but I could not help but feel shocked. Disgusted. That was a blow to my ego and my hopes. I was a human hybrid and I always had dreams in being an actress. But after unfortunate events I came to the werewolf world and mated Jacob.
“You knew what I was before we became mates. You knew about my dreams before we were mated. Not once did you say that it matter to you! Not once!” I could not hold it back any longer.
“Things change, Ava. People change.” Jacob shrugged. “I know what I want and what's best for the pack and its not you.”
“I sacrificed everything for you...for us. After all the nights I stayed up to take care of pack business for you? After I sacrificed everything I had for entertainment just to lighten your load? I gave up my dreams to be with you and this how you repay me!” I started to scream.
“Don't be stupid Ava,” Jacob said. I never asked you to do anything.” He began to laugh. “Your dreams, Ava let’s be honest your dream of being an actress are nothing short of fucking delusional. Who would want to see a hybrid wolf bitch like you on anything but smut films.”