HELENA.

A soft sigh escaped my lips as I stared at the large mahogany doors that guarded the building I called home. The house was a lot older now, worn with age. I could still hear the loud noises of the lawnmower and the faint curses my mom would make in the kitchen while preparing breakfast. A weird wave of nostalgia washed over me, I rubbed my palm over the thin layer of satin that covered my arms.

I grunted with effort as I pushed open the doors. That, needs to be checked. I shut my eyes and took a whiff of the air. Home. That's what it smelt like. Other than a tinge of dampness, the smell of old rugs and dust, and a little something I could swear was a dead rat in the kitchen, it smelled awful. I walked around the sitting room, the floor making a creaking noise with each step. I spotted the old lamp my father used to read with. Old newspapers talking about the latest sports stars or what was in vogue that year. A small smile touched the tip of my mouth. Father, mother. I could picture them there, mother at the edge of the sofa, father in his rocking chair, with a newspaper covering his small eyes with even smaller glasses, squabbling over the most ridiculous things. They were things I missed. Home.

I yanked myself out of my reverie and dragged my suitcase upstairs. I had come here for a reason, to start over, not throw a pity party. The stairs were even more creaky than the floorboards. I wonder why such high defini-

Shit.

I groaned as loud as I could. You have got to be kidding me. I stared my suitcase which now stood at level with my eyes. Yep, I fell into the freaking floorboard.

What a nice way to start the day.

I managed to prop myself up and out of the massive hole I'd just created, then carefully stepped my way up the last remaining steps till I came face to face with my used-to-be room door. I slowly pushed the door open. A very loud shriek emanated from its rusted hinges.

I looked around

Hm.

Everything was exactly how I left it. The pink sheets, the brown duvet, the lip liner I left on my dresser, even the halfway but not so half opened can of nuts I sprawled on the floor the last time I was here. The wave hit me again.

I slowly stride along the plush red carpet, the feeling all too familiar. I sunk onto the mattress, relishing its softness. It was my favorite place in the house. Just me, my books, my favorite milkshake, and a good book to pass the time. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as my mind wandered to everything that led to this point. I had come to Hulvey to start over, to get rid of the past and move forward. And this place was perfect. Especially after….

No, don't think about him. He's not worth it.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed in frustration. I'd been so used to him that now, I felt like I was truly alone. I still couldn't understand why, despite all my efforts to keep us strong. He chose her over me. Me.

A familiar sting crept behind my eyes. No no, don't cry….don't cry.

I got off the bed and started unpacking my things. I needed a distraction from my thoughts. I had to clean, but I just wanted to lay there, hoping that I could probably drift off and forget about my problems. I took out one of my dresses, and was just about to hang it in my closet when my phone rang. I froze.

Why is he calling me?

I made a customized ringtone for my ex-boyfriend, Caleb, and the sweet and subtle ringtone sounded so eerie in my ears.

Why haven't I blocked him?

I stared at the device on my bed as it vibrated. Sure enough, he was the one calling. But I couldn't move any further. Eventually, the ring stopped, but the feelings it left me with choked me in the throat. The sting came again, and this time, I didn't resist. I crouched over, shaking violently as my sobs washed over me. I hadn't cried when I saw him cheating, I didn't cry after he chased me out of his house, I didn't even cry when he called me a pawn that I used to satisfy my needs. Why was I crying now?

Was it the renewed pain? The hurt? The shattering sound my heart made every time I thought of him? Or the fact that he had the nerve to try and talk to me after all he did? He should shove a ten foot pole up his ass for all I cared. I sucked in a breath. I cared. I really did. And he took advantage of that.

My sobs got lighter, as numbness set in. All that pent up emotion did me no good.